5 steps to planning as a couple
Lots of goal setting systems assume that only one person makes a goal. This might be true for individual goals. Part of being a couple includes working together on life and projects.
Working together on a project or goal can strengthen a marriage. Also sharing what each other wants to do and discussing is important for supporting each other and understanding what’s important for your partnership.
Here are 5 steps to couples planning.
1. Individual time for reflection
A first step is having some time for reflecting on the current year goals prior to thinking about the new year.
I find using a life audit or wheel of life a good way to take stock both at an individual level and a couple level. Good questions to ask might be
What projects should we work on together?
Do we want to travel this year overseas?
For homeowners – is there any home projects we want to do?
For parents, whats important for the family this year.
Are there projects we still wish to do but haven’t got to?
It can be useful to individual reflect before coming together to discuss potential goals.
Click here for a free Wheel of Life template to work out areas you might want to focus on.
2. Reflect and discuss plans together
Its important to come together to reflect on where you are both at and then discuss what you both think should be ideas for future goals and projects.
A good way to do this is to put it on a page or two and then go somewhere like a cafe, day at the beach or while on walk and discuss it.
5 steps to planning as a couple
3. Include individual goals, projects, and activities.
Its important that the couples planning sits alongside the individual goals, projects, and activities. Some years one of a couple may have big changes like a new job or business that means there might be smaller couples projects or goals.
Another advantage of putting the individual goals down is transparency. It allows each person to understand what the other feels is important to them. Sometimes when couple communication is about the children or running a household the conversations around what we want to do and what’s important don’t happen. This joint planning is an opportunity to share what’s important.
4. Put it all down and come back to it.
The next step is to put the key things might work on as a couple and individual on a piece of paper and just leave it there for a few days. Doing too much at once runs the risk of not having enough time to think on the potential goals, projects, activities and moving too fast to prioritize what should be done.
Click here for my ETSY store couples planning template.
5. Pick the priorities.
Having too many goals can mean scattered focus and things don’t get done. Its important that goals are prioritized. For example, if every year the aim is to do something big like a trip or house renovation, then what should be the one big thing for the coming year?
Often this requires a bit of discussion and reflection. It can sit in a wider conversation about plans for future years. For example, should we remodel the kitchen this year – but if we plan to move in a couple of years is that overcapitalizing?
A final word
As a final word, joint planning isn’t without its challenges. There can be some conflict when there are choices to be made about what to do, when one partner has something big, they want to do which requires the support of their partner e.g., quit their job and start a new business.
But the risk of not doing couples planning is not knowing your partners dreams are so they can move towards them and one day finding out they think they missed their chance because of your relationship.
Also, not having anything that you work together on which can have challenges but also strengthen your marriage by being a team.
