5 tips for dealing with conflict
Let’s face it, most of us don’t want to be in situations where we are in conflict with someone else. But whether it be in the workplace, with friends, clubs or home, sometimes we can be in conflict with others.
Normally what is at the heart of conflict is different desires by each party. Here are 5 tips for dealing with conflict.
Try to remain calm and avoid things escalating.
When faced with a conflict, try to stay calm. It can be difficult but getting too worked up can cloud your judgement. Ways to stay calm might be breathing, taking a break or for things like texts and emails - not sending a response straight away in anger.
2. Try to understand the cause of the conflict and the other person’s perspective
Why is it all the steps to help manage conflict seem hard. It is important to understand what is the cause of the conflict. This involves gaining a idea of the other person’s perspective. For example, actively listening to what they say.
3. Be careful with communication
The saying ‘Hurt people hurt people’ can be true. When we feel under attack or in conflict - it is easy to lash out. We need to try to communication our feelings in a respectful way. Accusing or belittling language just adds fuel to the fire.
We also need to understand if the other person is hurt that they may be hurtful because they are hurt and angry.
4. Is there a solution that works for everyone
Where possible, is there is a solution that may work to address everyone’s needs?
5. Try to believe the best of the person and forgive them
Conflict can make us feel angry towards another person. This can be like ingesting poison - it makes us sick and better. Even where conflict is not or cannot be resolved, we need to try as much as possible believe the best in the other person and forgive them.
6. Watch our own behaviour
Sometimes our own behaviour during conflicts isn’t exactly great - we need to watch our how we act and where it isn’t appropriate - apologize. Conflict feels awful and is hard - our pride can be hurt, and we may fear not getting what we want. But it doesn’t mean poor behaviour is appropriate. It’s like tip number one, staying calm, sometimes we need to step away to avoid escalating or saying something we later regret.
